We Are Infinite

It’s quiet here.

This pause between breaths.

This edge of the abyss.

My hairs stand,

Lungs catch,

And fingers slip against

The necklace

Around my neck.

I feel it’s grooves,

The edges that are

Carved within its skin.

A thing I am so

Familiar with.

And it brings me comfort

In this unknown.

This place.

It goes against everything

My mind deems as natural.

I shiver against the cold,

But wait, is it?

Both heat and ice

Embrace me in the fog.

I hear roaring flames,

Those that dance and snap

Inside a forest of dry wood.

But a loud silence

Also hug my ears.

One that is as crisp

as the frozen air

On a freshly snowed day.

This melody rings

And sings

And screams

All about me.

And I know my God is here.

I close my eyes.

And I feel it.

I feel him.

This warm sensation

Like a father’s hug,

a best friend’s smile,

Or a song that hits just right.

It’s the goose bumps

That erupt on my skin,

The sweet oil that

Runs down my face.

My body quakes,

But my heart opens

Up like a flower.

My voice shakes,

But my inner eye

Catches his shadow

Casted about me.

Breath.

He is all around me,

Woven between the fabrics of time.

Breath.

He is inside me,

Built in to complete my soul.

Breath.

Upon his mouth is the

beginning and end

Of my existence.

Breath.

I’m in his presence

And we are one.

An infinite

Coming down to collide

With his finite.

For He is earth and time

And the meaning of life itself.

Breath.

Because he is here for me.

The ice that is crystalizing

Against my skin,

Was created to wake me up.

The flames that threaten

To burn me alive,

Were created to set

My soul on fire.

The wind that whips my hair

And tugs against my clothes

Was created to push me forward.

The silence to kill the noise

That constantly buzzes around me,

So that I may hear his voice.

And lastly, me.

I was created to complete my God.

Not because He needed me

To survive,

But because he decided

He wouldn’t survive without me.

That choice created my life

And all I can do is choose to

Breathe.

And step inside this

Unknown abyss that

My God is presenting before me.

A Man

For a little background before you read this free verse poem, I wrote it for my New Testament Class. We read the book of Mark and my professor wanted a reflection on what we learned or how we felt coming away from reading it.

Mark focuses on Jesus’ power all throughout his writings. But even through demons being casted out, powerful prophetical words, and miraculous healings, Jesus’ humanity still bleeds through. He endured every temptation every person has ever and will ever face and the exhaustion his lifestyle would have brought to him physically and mentally. Yet, He still chose to bring a powerful and most radical message. He brought a gospel of peace, love, and hope to a people who were looking for a God of justice, anger, and retaliation for their oppressors. And through it all, Jesus was still a human just like us.

A Man

This man. Who is he?

He commands the demons.

The waves bow before him.

Sickness that has raged

All about me my entire life,

Disappear within the gaze

Of a human.

Upon the mouth of a single man.

Who is he?

Radicals follow him.

The hopeless cling onto him.

My rabbis despise him.

Who is this man?

How did one from Nazareth

Stir my entire people?

Some say he’s Elijah.

Other’s that John is alive again.

But there are those who call him

Messiah.

No, he couldn’t be.

Messiah is a warrior.

He is a leader.

Messiah will crush the iron fist

That grips our life.

This is not that man.

This one, he is compassion.

He holds the hand of children.

He walks among the slums.

He’s friends with the unclean and sinners.

He is tearing our way of life apart

In the name of my God.

The terrifying thing is,

Well, I am happy.

The purpose of my life,

The laws I strive to keep,

Shatter in his presence.

My mind is collapsing within me,

His ideas are churning in my heart.

Yet, I look into his eyes,

I hear his words upon my ears,

I feel his presence inside my heart,

And it is good.

Am I a radical now?

I hear him in my dreams,

And I run towards him.

Who is this man?

He haunts me.

But I never want this,

Feeling, man, god,

Whoever he is

To go away.

Who is this man,

That even demons

Are afraid of him.

Glass Boxes

Glass boxes. They encase us all. 

So delicate, clear and smooth. 

What a masterpiece. 

So beautifully created. 

Yet I reach out and can not touch you. 

My fingers slip on an image, but it is not your own. 

This reflection dances all around me.

Plays on my thoughts, my dreams, even my heart. 

Yet it is glass after all. 

A projection of what you want me to see,

To feel and to know. 

What we have is real, yes. 

But so hindered by a beautiful crystal. 

Stoped by this second human skin. 

I see your face and it is stunning. 

I hear your heart beat against the walls.

Your breadth takes a shape against the glass. 

I know you and I love you. 

But that is all. 

I can not touch you. 

I long to feel the warmth of your arms,

The life that dances upon your skin. 

This glass around your body must break. 

I pound against the wall,

It shutters and dirties with every hit of my fist. 

But this prison will not move. 

Instead of shattering, it splits apart my own flesh. 

I keep fighting yet blood now stains my view of you. 

Another sign that I am not good enough. 

Another reminder that I am truly alone in this world. 

For you do not truly know me either, do you. 

I have glass around me as well. 

It covers my body like a second skin. 

It hides my heart deep within my chest.  

We really all are in glass boxes aren’t we. 

We know, we feel and we love

But something is always hidden. 

Not everything is real. 

These thoughts of ours encase us. 

Our minds crystallize around us. 

It molds us, holds us, and carries us. 

And because of it, I reach out in vain. 

I will never truly hold you or feel you. 

Even so, let us press against this glass again and again

Until one day nothing is in between us. 

Because eventually this earth will fall

And everything will shatter with it. 

What a beautiful sight that will be, 

What a moment I can barely wait for. 

To hold you in my arms,

To press my hands against your face. 

But until then, let’s spend every day loving, hearing and knowing each other. 

For I must strive to truly listen to your heart beat,

Since I can not feel it’s pulse against your skin. 

I promise I will fight. 

I will get closer and closer until that one day comes. 

When I press against the glass and it will break.

Behind the Name

For by You I can run against a troop, by my God  I can leap over a wall. -Psalms 18:29

I discovered this psalm when I was 9 years old and it has been my life verse ever since. Everything I do, I do by and through God. I love by my God. I feel by my God. And I write by my God. Together we can face every mountain, win against any army, and leap over the tallest walls. My life is his and he infiltrates every part of it.

I could never take all the glory for what I write. I wouldn’t even get one thought out of my brain and onto paper without Jesus probing me and guiding me. Everything in my life is by my God. My prayer is that my words will always reflect this.

I Want To Be a Fairy, She Said

I want more, she said. 

I want a reason to live.

I want to be a fairy, she said.

Then my sparkle dust I could give. 

Why is there no magic in life?

Their pain I can not take away.

I want to be a fairy, she said.

But they’re empty, these words that I say. 

I want to be a fairy, ha!

I am all broken and helpless inside.

How could I heal their hurting heart

When my own lay shattered aside. 

Blown by the wind,

Lost on the shore.

I want to be a fairy, she said.

But my wings do not work anymore. 

I watch the world burn on fire,

Right in front of my eyes. 

I want to be a fairy, she screams.

But instead I keep saying goodbyes!

What can I do, she sighs,

Without my dust and my wings. 

What can I do, she cries, 

Since I am no magic fairy, oh king. 

You are not a fairy, he said. 

This king with a crown on his brow.

They do not exist, he said. 

Nor will the ever, I vow. 

You do not need wings, my child. 

Or dust that sparkles and heals. 

Do you know why, he asked

The girl rocking to and fro on her heels. 

No fairy exists in this world,

Because my daughter lives in it instead. 

You are a princess, he cried. 

You have your own crown upon your head!

I gave you the power you needed,

To take this world by storm. 

I gave you my name, he said. 

You do not need a magical form. 

Her eyes then rose from the ground. 

She paused and was still for a while. 

I am no a fairy she then said. 

But for the first time, I can smile. 

Your name is a gift, oh king. 

Your love is my power,

You are the fairy, she gasped. 

And you’ve been here this whole hour! 

I have been here forever he said. 

This king of all kings and their names. 

He then took his princess’ hand, 

They then entered the world’s burning flames. 

Something

There was something about that day

Lying next to you.

With the waves crashing,

The noise of the crowd,

The warmth of the sun. 

Immaculate. 

That was the word 

That kept popping up in my head. 

Perfect. 

Untouchable. 

You see no matter what life hands us,

The heavy load that weighs us down,

It’s up to us to get through it together. 

People. 

Each other.

Laughter and tears,

Tight hugs and unbearable hurts. 

We are not perfect. 

But we don’t need to be. 

Our minds hurt,

Our hearts are heavy.

And what does it do to us? 

Pushes us away.  

To feel alone. 

Forgotten. 

Unloved and unneeded.

But you my sweet person,

You are so precious. 

Perhaps your darkened thoughts or

Cloudy vision is telling you otherwise. 

But God needed you enough to create you,

So why wouldn’t his sons and daughters need you too?

So stand tall my friend, 

And let us face this unsteady life together. 

With your hand in mine.  

So let’s scream down the highway,

With the music on high

Again and again,

If that is what is needed

To face earth.

Hello Old Heart

Hello old heart.

It’s been a while,

Since I’ve felt your warmth,

Inside my chest. 

 

Hello old heart.

I thought I hid you

Long away,

I tried my very best. 

 

Hello old heart.

The fear I felt, 

My pain I hid,

Should have 

kept you safe. 

 

Hello old heart.

I didn’t want you 

To see the dawn,

For darkness

That could still escape. 

 

Hello old heart.

The people here,

I thought their words

Would come 

To cut and drown. 

 

Hello old heart.

So brick by brick,

And day by day,

I hid you deeper, 

Deeper down. 

 

Hello old heart.

I thought my pain

Could hold you,

My fear I believed

Could keep you free. 

 

But you, old heart,

As you beat

Throughout the dark,

It caused the dark

To ever be. 

 

Hello old heart.

Without you 

to keep me steady,

I had no life 

And living beat.  

 

Because you, old heart,

Buried deep inside,

Had no way for love 

to pump and seep. 

 

So hello old heart.

You have survived

All of the dark 

I put you through. 

 

I hope old heart,

That all the walls

And bonds and chains,

Will continue 

To split in two. 

 

So hello new heart.

Trust, please trust,

For Jesus to peel 

all dark away,

 

So you, my heart,

Will heal and grow 

Beat and love,

Being the one I choose 

To live by every day.